After leaving a toxic workplace, I carried the frustration and struggles with me, telling myself to move on. I buried my feelings under the motivation to prepare for interviews. But deep inside, some nights, I found it difficult to fall asleep. Workplace bullying became a scar, eroding my hobbies and mental health.

I sit down. I brew a cup of espresso. My mind starts to wander back to a time when I took a presentation class. The final required us to present either our passion or our profession. I chose passion—because, ultimately, passion drives profession, bringing insight and happiness.

I picked a passion I had never shared before. A philosophy—Deconstructionism.

What is Deconstruction-ism?

Deconstructionism is a philosophy, developed by the French Philosopher, Jacques Derrida. Originally a critical approach to literacy analysis in the late 1960s, it challenges the traditional notions of language, words, and meaning in the Western world by arguing the contradictions and inconsistencies within texts and ideas.

To understand it, we start with how Derrida thinks…

In his writing, one thread goes through his work — undecidability. It challenges the existing binaries — life and death, good and evil, right and wrong.

What challenges them? The living dead — Zombies.

They make life and death no longer a simple opposition. It’s a debate among all concepts, questioning definitions we take for granted. Because the way it disrupts the relationship within binaries makes some people consider deconstruction as anti-foundation. Well…partially, it is.

But The key is to displace the binaries — a movement of sollicitation, to shake the foundation, to shake the core. Take architecture, for example. It’s always been about the conservative disciplines, order, stability, and logic. Alongside Postmodernism in the 1960s, which rejected modernism’s rigid structure in shapes and logic, a new movement evolved into Deconstructivism.

Deconstructivism and the Roots of Meaning

Deconstructivism changed the course of architecture. It’s not merely changing the form but the core of how the concept was conceived. It questioned the roots of architectural design. This led me to another question: What is inside the core? What makes up the foundation?

That’s where Derrida’s idea of the trace comes in, appearing in Of Grammatology. Usually, we think a trace is static — a mark.

But Derrida sees it as an interaction. It’s the relay of differences that depend upon structural undecidability. Simply put, it’s about the origin of meaning. A signifier pointing back to its origin. That is how we communicate.

The Virtue of Trace and Différance

The virtue of trace makes différance, bringing out the keyword in deconstruction. It’s the only word that isn’t a real word.

It’s not a French word. It’s not even a word at all. It’s a fusion of differing and deferring. We know what it means to differ. But why defer?

“Language or drawing is impossible without the play of trace, the play of presence and absence. ”

Visualizing this concept, Derrida references an ancient painting—a woman, separated from her lover, tracing his shadow on the wall. She tries to capture the presence, but she can’t. The drawing isn’t a presence itself but a memory, a gap, a delay. The act is blind. The artist is blind. There is always a gap between the moment and the mark.

Following the Path of Curiosity

Looking at the books I read, Nietzsche’s work, Beyond Good and Evil, challenges traditional notions of morality and values, advocating for individual freedom and self-realization. The Death and Life of Great American Cities by Jane Jacobs, a journalist’s book, critiques urban planning, arguing it should be more organic and based on human interaction. Perec’s novel, Life A User’s Manual, intricately weaves together diverse characters, reflecting the richness and randomness of human experience. They all examine fundamental questions about existence, morality, and human behavior—the intricacies of life, society, and ethics. The very core of deconstruction. What is the foundation of thoughts that contribute to human behavior? What am I curious about?

I return to where I started. The scars from a toxic workplace had shaken my sense of stability, much like deconstruction shakes rigid structures. But through this journey, I found something deeper—a way to question, to analyze, to understand. I am no longer just reacting to my past. I am deconstructing it, finding new meaning, and rebuilding on my own terms.

Always be curious. You never know where it might take you. It might just surprise you.